In my most thoughtful moments I think how wonderful it is to be in church and to be used for God's glory. It is what I and most other Christians have wanted all our lives--to find our purpose and to be used by God. So why, if we spend our whole lives wanting God to use us for His glory, do we get so upset with folks for being themselves and acting how they act? We are bothered when people act in ways that we believe are inconsistent with Christianity-or our internalized definition of Christianity.
Christianity is a walk and a relationship with Christ. No one can know what it looks like for another person--we must all walk out and work out our own salvation yet we have these imposed standards of conduct. Many of them I believe have been developed because of the hierarchy that we have created in the church and we don't even see ourselves and so totally are not aware of our behaviors. We really just do not know that we are hurting people because we are too caught up in what we do for the church. I believe that if we really focused on working for Christ's sake no hurt would be produced--how could it. The hurt comes we be turn our work for Christ into an opportunity to showcase what we know how to do or who good we are at something. Isn't it so very interesting that the church is full of people who have experienced little or no success or power in their worldly positions, but they can have a big voice there? This phenomena--if you will--can lead to selfish and shameless self-promotion that we are unaware of in ourselves.
There is a difference you know. There is a void between what we do for Christ and what we do for the "church." There shouldn't be, but there absolutely is. We are human and we can't help it and so this is where hurt is born. We forget about the people--God's people by the way--that make up the church. We begin thinking about people in terms of accomplishing tasks and getting things done--not in terms of soul salvation--or if we do it is to a lesser extent. This is why we compliment those who give a lot of money--think about the Widow's mite. This is why we promote people of note from the community. This is why we surround ourselves with the popular and can't even remember the names of others. Church becomes one big community asset mapping opportunity--we need all hands on deck. We need to know what everyone can do for our purposes--not for God's. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, after all church business has to get done to accommodate the people who come or who will be coming in. It is necessary, but sometimes we get so caught up in doing for people that we forget our purpose--that thing that we all wanted in the beginning--to be used by God.
What makes the difference? You are working for Christ when hurtful things happen to you and you are able to recover quickly--you learn that only what we do for Christ will last. You are working for Christ when you become invisible--know one has to ever know it was you that did something, when you know the Word applies to you to make you stronger and you're not imagining the preacher is always talking to someone else, when you refuse to make fun of others or participate in purposefully hurting, when your focus is Christ, when your life is in balance--you're not used up by church folk--because they will use every last drop and then still talk about you like your whole life is an inside joke.
All of this may seem like rambling. But this is very personal for me. Working in the church can be thankless--that's not really a big deal. Working in the church can be disappointing--people will let you down, misuse you, just plain use you, talk about you, dog you out and still fake smile in your face--you can get used to that. Working in the church can leave you empty--if you allow your focus to become the task rather than Christ. Working in the church can bring overwhelming pain--when you see others openly coddled, loved and rewarded for seemingly doing little and you're putting in your all and sacrificing.
I have countless conversations with people who feel hurt and helpless to do anything about it and frankly I was in that crowd--trying to understand the dynamics of the relationships in leadership--watching other people get hurt and not understanding why nothing was being done. Watching people fall off and leave because of hurt and the show still rolling on as if their hurt was their own fault and then one day it finally hit me. Why? Why do we allow church folks to hurt us so? After all people can only do to you what you allow them to do right? I know it may seem impossible, but some people live to hurt you. They want to see the look on your face when they tell you they know the pastor better than you or that they are communicating with the pastor and "Oh they didn't contact you too?" There are people who revel in watching others hurt, but I'm going to give you a sure fire way to escape this needless pain.
See yourself for who you are. Know yourself and your calling and purpose. Do what you do for Christ alone. Focus on Christ. All advice that you have heard before I know, but it really works. Stop expecting people to "act" right. They may or may not reach the conclusion that hurting others derives from their own hurt. That is not your concern. God isn't going to give you a get of hell free card because you responded to others because they hurt you.
Church is the only place were we put unrealistic expectations on people to act in a way that is inconsistent with their personality. If a person is nasty and immature and enjoys mistreating others they are going to do that anywhere, everywhere and at every opportunity that they have until they are made whole. They don't care that they are hurting children, adults, dogs, cats, or coach roaches. Their own life's pain causes them to lash out and most likely they are unaware that this is even a big deal.
Don't get caught up in someone else's turmoil. They are going to hurt you because that's what they do. Your testimony is that when they hurt you you stayed in position. You kept your focus. Like David at Ziglag--you recovered quickly and you recovered all. Your sole purpose in life is to impress Christ--to live like and for Him. Nothing and no one can pluck you from His hand.
I was recently stung by a wasp and that sting reminded me of the sting I sometimes get from church folk, but the key is--it was temporary. I got over it and you can to. Don't think of Christianity in terms of fair. Don't watch or compare yourself to others. Do what you do for Christ and see yourself doing it for Christ. Speak it. Have confidence in who God called you to be. You belong to Him--not to a congregation. He redeemed you. He paid the price. Focus on that and free yourself. Shake it off.
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