No matter how much we tell our children to do what we say and not what we do, children wind up doing exactly what we do and that annoys us so! We want better for our children, but we don't make better decisions or live better lives and somehow we have fooled outselves into believing that our children will be come something other than the example that we live in front of them. My mind is boggled by that.
I see myself in my daughter. Sure she has her own personality, but I see my temper, my shortness, my lazy streak, and pretty much all of my bad habbits in her. When I see these things I try to consciously make an effort to change so that she will have a better example to live by. Case in point, one day I was listening to my daughter talking with a friend of hers. She was rather rude and curt. Maybe the next day or so I found myself being rather rude and curt with her about something. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I cringe when I see my own behavior reflected out of my child, but I'm putting this in her. I can't blame anyone else. From that incident it now crosses my mind to be thoughtful and patient when I'm explaining things to her. I'm still working on this because my tendency is to revert to behavior I saw as a child, but I have learned that I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me. That means that I can change--even now and I can set a better example for my daughter and point her toward the Father so that she knows where her help comes from.
Make no mistake you cannot hide your behavior from your children and hope that they'll be different. If you are inconsiderate to your husband, a cheater on your wife, an abuser toward your spouse and family, a liar, or whatever, your children see and adopt that behavior no matter how young they are. Studies even reveal to us that a baby in the womb can react to and feel what we experience. This is why it is advised that mothers remain stress free during their pregnancies.
Many of us--especially those of us who have suffered abuse--have a warped standard of experiences from which to draw and to try to guide our lives. If it were not for God ( . . . but God), it would seem that we would be doomed to repeat the examples of our parents and grandparents. But the Lord knows what we have need of. When I look back over my life I can see all the places where God filled in the spaces. We can change our futures when we accept that God wants to provide for us and care for us. We may have an example, but God can take from where we are when we come to Him, broken and make us new.
Look to the hills. That's where our help comes from. When we make Jesus our standard we experience a life changing pardigm shift that allows us to overcome what didn't work for us in the past and to embrace the Word. We can live by the Word and walk by faith.
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