I had a dream last night that led to this blog today. I dreamt that I was a teenager living with a severely strict family--they were not my parents. Every chance I got I escaped them and went to visit a boyfriend. The motherly figure tried to talk to me, but the fatherly figure yelled, screamed and tried to forbid me to see the young man. In my heart I knew that the father wanted to protect me from making a mistake that I would regret, but I couldn't help but feel in this dream that the more that this father figure yelled at me the less I heard and the more appealing the smooth talking boyfriend sounded--even though he had nothing else to offer me. I woke up praising God for what I'm about to share with you.
Philippians 1:6 reads And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.
My daughter is not a teen yet, but I pray everyday that her father and I are instilling in her trust in God. She teaches me moment by moment that children definitely do what you do and can be slightly steered by what you say. But the most important thing is how we live because she's following our example. So her father and I consciously set an example of faith, trust and belief in God. We pray with her and we encourage her to pray so that she can learn to develop her own relationship with God. We do not force or push anything on her. We just ask God to help us live it.
By the time we get to our teenage years we begin the painful process of severing our thoughts and our dependence from those who raised us, whether that is our parents, a guardian, or a system. Something in us makes us toddle into independence, like a baby learning to walk. For teens and for parents alike this can be a traumatic and hurting experience because of all of the falls and the bumps and the boo boos that we simply can't prevent no matter how attentive we are. Although many parents try, we cannot be with our children every moment of every day. Times will come when their own faith will be tested. Your faith is not their faith. They must learn to trust God and exercise their own faith and we must ask God how to help us allow them to do that because we want to shelter them from any pain and from all poor decisions, but we just can't.
But to ensure that our teens make as smooth a transition as possible into adulthood the one thing that we can give them that they can always rely on is an example of trusting God. That trust will instill in them the anchor of confidence and validation that they will need to persevere through any and everything that comes their way. Philippians 1:6 proves to parents and children alike that God is the one that began the good work and He WILL see to it that the work that He began is completed. We can rest in that promise because all of His promises are yea and amen.
Confidence tells us that we are valuable even in the face of life's circumstances that may say otherwise. When there isn't enough money to buy what everyone else has, confidence reassures you that it won't always be like this. When people talk about you, confidence reminds you to lift up your heads oh ye gates and be ye lifted up ye everlasting doors and the King of Glory shall come in . . . Confidence provides a strong foundation from which our teens can reach back and grab the Word of God to hold on to during emotionally perilous times.
If you've ever hung out with a group of teens for any period of time, you are reminded that children can be cruel. You are reminded that these are some of the most awkward times of our lives. You are reminded of how vulnerable teens are to peer pressure. You are reminded that their decision making process is being developed and tested and it hurts to see them making poor choices.
Life is not easy for any of us. With the grace of God we do the best we can, but for the teen it can be even more painful because of smothering overbearing parenting or people speaking for them and telling them who they are or should be. Or people bossing them around in the name of discipline. Or people speaking harshly to them not remembering that they are precious in the Lord's sight. Or people simply not listening to them because we already know what they're going to say and what they want to do. On top of all of the pressure from those whom they trust there then is enemy that wants to sift them as wheat. He accuses them daily before the Father. He doesn't want them to succeed. He doesn't want them to be anchored in the Lord or to trust in Him or to have confidence. He constantly tells them to take their own lives. He tells them that they are not good enough. He tells them that they are not loved. He tells them that nobody cares about them. All of the things that the enemy tells us as adults he tells our children too and depending on how we're living in front of them and what we are saying to them they may be more vulnerable to the enemy's tactics and his message. It is our job to encourage and uplift every Christian soldier, including our teens.
Let's protect our teens by living an example of trust in God. Trusting that what God has started He can and will complete not only in our own lives, but in the lives of our teens too. Let's encourage them to trust in God too so that they can be confident that they are loved, that they have value, that God bought them with a price and that He needs them. The #1 tool that every teen needs is confidence that if they make a poor choice, God still loves them; that if they fall down, they will have support getting back up; that the adults around them are not just talking about God, but are living a holy life and providing an example of trust in God. Our teens are watching us and they will do as we do.
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